


How to Say Fuck You in Flower

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, flower shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7252051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the tumblr post: Person A owns a flower shop and Person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says "How do I passive aggressively say fuck you in flower?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Say Fuck You in Flower

**Author's Note:**

> I am sexierthanthetardis on tumblr if you wanted to know.

Phil Lester has always loved flowers. When he was younger his grandmother would always let him help out around her flower shop whenever he had free time, and over time his fascination with all of his plants grew. In grade school he had a little journal filled with drawings and little facts about all of the plants growing around his house and the school playground, and he had gained the title of weirdo from constantly talking about all of the amazing things that he had learned. All through high school he would get caught skipping class to read through lengthy botany books in the library, and no one was surprised when he said he wanted to pursue a degree in botany in college.

Most of the people that knew him had suspected that he was gay long before he had too, but Phil didn’t actually realize it until he was twenty-one and sat next to one of the most gorgeous men he had ever seen during a history lecture. They ended up dating for a bit, but eventually broke it off because all of Phil’s interesting flower fact went from being adorable to annoying rather quickly. Phil wasn’t fazed very much by the breakup though, and he had a few more small dates here and there during college that never really amounted to much more than a nice coffee and a chat and a few rather awkward one night stands.

When he finally finished college with a degree in botany, his grandmother handed the old shop over to him and gracefully retired. Being a rather small and simple shop on the less busy side of town, they didn’t get too many customers throughout the day, but honestly Phil didn’t mind very much. He’s always been a bit of an introvert when it comes to people that he hasn’t warmed up to much, and he typically preferred the company on colorful plants to that of other people. The people that usually did end up stumbling upon the shop were usually elderly women who loved to make polite small talk about the weather or their grandchildren’s achievements, or middle aged husbands hoping to surprise their wives with an unexpected bouquet in the middle of the week.

Even when customers were milling around, the shop was rather quiet, so when a tall brown haired boy burst through the front door like he was ready to destroy a city by himself, it gave Phil a bit of a start from behind the cashier counter.

“Can I help you?” he asked, watching the boy stomp over to the counter.

The brown haired boy quickly slapped a twenty-dollar bill down on the counter.

“How do I passive aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Phil was shocked for a second, and then had to consciously resist the urge to burst out laughing.

“That depends a bit on the situation; would you like to give me a few details?”

“My homophobic aunt is getting married and she sent me an invite even though I haven’t spoken to her since she kicked me out of thanksgiving last year for bringing my boyfriend at the time.”

The brown eyed man’s words were laced with malice; which Phil could understand considering the situation.

“Well, I think I can help you with that,” Phil said, taking the guy’s hand and pulling him towards the vast array of flowers, “Follow me.”

“First you’re going to want orange lilies for hatred,” Phil said, plucking up a few and putting them gently into a basket.

“They look really pretty to be hatred,” the other commented.

“All flowers are pretty, even the ones with bad meanings. They’re like people that way.” Phil said.

“That’s deep dude.”

“You should expect that from a guy who speaks flower,” Phil said jokingly. “Next you’re going to want some meadowsweet for uselessness.”

Phil grabbed a few and placed them next to the other flowers in the basket.

“And some petunias for anger and resentment,” He said, placing the others in the basket.

“It’s really cool that you know all of this off the top of your head.”

“Thanks,” Phil said, “Most people don’t really care about these things but I find them fascinating.”

“Now we’ll throw in some foxglove for insincerity and you’ve got a beautiful bouquet full of loathing for all of your homophobic family member needs.”

Dan laughed and followed Phil back up to the front counter where he arranged the flowers and wrapped them up with a beautiful bow.

“Is that all for you today then? He asked, ringing up the arrangement.

“That depends,” the other man said, picking up a flirty tone, “Do you happen to know any gorgeous gay guys who would like to be my date to my horrible aunt’s wedding?”

Phil smiled, “I think I might know one. He’s pretty good looking if I do say so myself, but he tends to blab about flowers all the time which some people find annoying.”

“I think guys who know a lot about flowers are _super_ hot.”

“Oh really?” Phil said, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yep,” he said, “it became one of my favorite traits about two minutes ago actually.”

“Well then,” Phil said, hastily scribbling down his cell phone number onto one of his business cards, “I think I know just the guy for you. He’s pretty high maintenance though; you’ll have to take him out for coffee sometime to get to know each other first.”

Phil handed over the card and the other man wasted no time putting the number into his phone.

“I think I can handle that. My name is Dan by the way. What’s yours?”

“Phil.”

Dan nodded and put the name of the beautiful man in front of him into his phone.

“Well then Phil, there’s a Starbucks down the road. What time do you get off work?”

“I can close up now if you’re free. We don’t usually get that many customers anyways.”

“That sounds great actually. I’ll go put the flowers in my car while you lock up or whatever. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

**Author's Note:**

> A little super short one shot that I did because why not. Comment if you liked it, and have a great day!


End file.
